...For that is far better

[20] as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. [21] For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. [22] If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. [23] I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. [24] But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. [25] Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith,

(Philippians 1:20-25 ESV)

My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.  That is how He may be glorified in my death, because I welcome it knowing I go to be with Christ who is my treasure.  However, even in life if that desire leads to kingdom labor that, in seeing me value him supremely in my life, draws others to Him, it is worthwhile to stay.  I don't know how Paul can be "convinced of this," though.

I have been reading from Piper's "Don't waste your life," the chapter about death and suffering not wasted.  That is certainly my challenge recently and the inspiration for the title of this blog.  On our road trip to Dallas this weekend, Emily and I also listened to the 3 part series recently preached by Matt Chandler titled "Transitions."  The best part of that was the admonition to prepare onesself because the time for each of us will come, and it will not be "too early" from God's perspective.  The subsequent 2 messages were to discuss heaven and the New Jerusalem.  That was a lot to cover in just 2 messages.   I appreciate what he was able to do with that time, though I certainly wouldn't consider it a complete treatise on Biblical eschatology.

One of our prayers now, and a consequence of the tumor I didn't expect, is that I may be denied the opportunity to operate or practice medicine even if the surgery goes perfectly and I have no deficits.  It seems from a hospital, medical group, and malpractice insurance perspective it may not be justifiable to allow me to practice medicine with a tumor, even if I can be proven to not be handicapped by it.  They haven't even begun the process of credentialing, so I don't really know how that will be handled.  I am hoping it doesn't come to that, because that will be a fast track to disability.  However, I am also excited about the opportunities that would allow should God provide them: 1) Missionary surgery overseas, 2) full-time residency program direction, 3) Seminary, 4) Something even better that I haven't even dreamed of.